A personal history can serve not only as a story of your life, but as an ethical will.  It is a great idea to create a document that contains your wishes for your burial, disbursement of tangible things, hopes, dreams and goals for your family and friends, lessons for younger generations and so on.  It may not be a document with any legal force, but will let your loved ones know your wishes and thoughts.  Preserve your ideas on your own, or with the help of someone else, now so that your loved ones will have that piece of your mind and spirit after you pass.  Encourage those you love to do the same.

Today, several cities across the nation face protests regarding immigration rights.  All American families began as immigrants at one generation or another.  Do you know your family's story?  Did you start as legal immigrants or illegal?  Did your ancestors find the process difficult or easy?  Did they leave their original home during a time of war, poverty, persecution, or just decide they wanted a new opportunity?  What are their thoughts on legal versus illegal immigration?

As populations rise, open space decreases.  People are fighting harder for a smaller piece of the pie.  Competition for resources becomes more divisive and harmonious existence in the world becomes more challenging. 

Ask your family members these questions now and make a recording of their thoughts.  Attach a few newspaper clips about current events and your thoughts about the issues as well.  These will be treasured for generations to come.

Valentine's Day is fast approaching.  Do you know how your parents met and fell in love?  Do you know about your grandparents' romance?  How do you want to remember your relationship in years to come?  How would you like your children to view your relationship when considering their own choices for a mate?

It seems that certain families are destined to repeat relationship patterns.  Children learn about relationships from their parents and see things about that relationship they both like and dislike.  All too often, parents do not discuss their own relationship with their children until it comes time for a divorce and then the interaction is not one of openness and discussion, but one of blame and regret.  I am an habitual researcher and have read voluminous information on relationships from various magazines, web sites and books.  Although I have heard and read stories of many relationships, I still wonder about my own grandparents and how they made their selection of each other, what worked in their relationship, what didn't, and what advice they might have for me.

Happy New Year!  I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season filled with adventure, family and warm memories.  Of course, along with the new year comes resolutions.  Of course the average resolutions include increasing your net worth, decreasing your girth, and enjoying life more.  I find that in writing down my resolutions, it is much easier to make a commitment to fulfilling them and follow through.  Journal writing is a great way of keeping a record of your thoughts and opinions as well as leaving a lasting legacy for your children.  Why not include both and keep track of your dreams, goals and desires as well as what you are doing to accomplishing them.  Your children will have a road map to your life and see that you too, like everyone else, has trials and tribulations along the way that you have overcome, even if that is only your own lack of motivation.

Do you know how your parents, grandparents or great-grandparents celebrated the holidays when they were children?  Family gatherings?  Presents?  Faith-based celebration? 

With Christmas around the corner, think about giving your family the gift of history: the perfect gift for the holidays and you don't even have to brave the crowds at the mall.  Have the life stories of a loved one preserved on a CD.  Give copies to the whole family.  Make your loved one feel special and valued.

P.S.  I have since learned that the mother I was speaking to does make a directed effort to share her experience with her children and her community.  In fact, her son was able to help a classmate in school when he noticed him having a seizure.  She is also participating in a Northwest fundraiser (on January 28, 2006 in Portland) for an epilepsy foundation to increase awareness and support for others with the same condition.

December 5, 2005

Do you know what country your elders are from?  How they celebrate special events?  How they feel about religion, politics, art or music?

I had an in-depth discussion with a friend about diversity.  We agreed on some issues and disagreed on others.  The important lesson I took from the discussion is that while "diversity" and "culture" mean different things to different people, they influence everyone.

It is important that families encourage and celebrate their own "culture," beginning from within, and share that culture with others to increase familiarity and understanding.  It doesn't matter if that culture is mainstream or under-represented because no two families are the same.  The elder generations are the source of that culture and can encourage the younger generations through sharing their experiences including traditions, heritage, beliefs, customs, and so much more.

December 1, 2005

I decided to put a blog in place to share my thoughts on personal history related to my daily experiences.  I often wonder what life experience has led to a person's particular reaction.  I also wonder what advice my grandmother or great aunts and uncles would give me in certain situations if they were still alive.  What would they think about life as it is today?